Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What dynamics are involved in taming your jealousy? - ARTICLE

Jealousy can be one of the most destructive forces in a relationship.

Jealousy is originally a positive desire to protect your relationship.

It is an instinctual impulsion which aims at protecting the couple and the family.

Now, when you express jealousy, you are often achieving exactly the opposite of what you want.

You are attacking your partner’s life and freedom.

Too often, this will achieve the exact opposite of what you want.

You express control and possessiveness and destroy the harmony of what you share with her.

Is this good?

Is this an expression of love?

If your jealousy is “justified” and there is a real threat on your relationship, then it is okay.

Jealousy is a weapon and you want to master that weapon.

It is a defense mechanism aimed at protecting what you share with your partner.

Now, imagine having a sword in your hands.

This is what jealousy is.

It is a psychic weapon you can use against what threats the stability of your couple.

However, this “jealousy sword” can turn against what you care for the most.

It can destroy the harmony of your relationship.

This means one thing: you want to master the skills and use jealousy in a wise way.

If jealousy is simply an emotional obsessive reaction you don’t control, you are most likely to hurt those around you without a reason.

You don’t want that, right?

In the next few pages, we will analyze the dynamics of jealousy and the way to tackle the unwanted obsessive aspect of it.

When you are obsessively jealous, it is not only your partner which gets hurt, it is you and the relationship as well.

In fact, it is a loss for everyone and everything involved.

It is purely destructive.

What you want is to master your reaction.

You want to use your sword wisely only when it is really needed.

The first step is to understand the dynamics involved.

Why does it exist in the first place?

The second step is to deal with obsessive jealousy and master your instinctual reaction.