Wednesday, January 27, 2010

She must respect your personal space - ARTICLE

When you live together, you are the owners of the space you live in.

You do this together.

Having pictures of her ex around the house is not the best way to validate your relationship.

Your house is dedicated to one thing: your partnership

This means that your task is to preserve and protect your personal space.

If she wants to keep memories or old letters from past relationships, you can’t stop her. However, you can make sure that she keeps all that with her personal things.

You have the right to have some control over what happens in your personal space.

So, dare to express that power.

This is definitely okay as long as you are not trying to control her actions, beliefs or emotions.

If you have your own house and live separately, the same applies: ultimately you are the one who decides what happens in your home and what comes in or not.

Obsessive jealousy comes from a need to secure your life.

You know she is a window into your existence and you don’t want to loose control.

This is why you tend to limit her freedom.

Now, the moment you gain back full control over your personal space, you gain back a very high level of security.

This is your right.

It is healthy to stay in charge of your personal environment.

If you live together, you share this authority.

You express this authority by taking decisions together, talking about boundaries and limits and using diplomacy when you discover an area of tension or conflict.