Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Jealous of your ex partner’s new relationship - ARTICLE

When you break up with your partner, your ex will probably meet someone else.

This creates jealousy as well.

If this does not happen when you are around, it is probably easier to deal with it.

When you partner with someone, there is always some form of mutual control involved.

Jealousy is an expression of this control.

Control is a sustaining force for the relationship.

It is a power which keeps things together.

The moment you break up, you stop working on the relationship but some emotional patterns tend to survive the break up.

The moment you see your ex with someone else, you have a “claiming” reaction: “Hey! That’s my woman”

You know it is not the truth but you still did not train your emotions to react in a different way.

It is a left over conditioning.

Being a bit jealous is okay as long as it does not consume you.

If it consumes you, it is the sign that you are still emotionally too invested in your ex.

What is the way to solve this reaction? Let go!

Consciously train your response:

“Hey, I am really happy for you. It is good that you and I can move on and stay friends. Can I introduce you to my new girl friend?”

You might “pretend” in the beginning.

You might struggle with negative emotions.

However, you can retrain this response if you want to:

  • “She does not belong to me anymore”
  • “She is free to do what she wants”
  • “I am happy for you”
  • etc.

Try it out. You’ll see how it feels.

The moment you let go of something you can’t control, it is immensely liberating.

It frees you from an inner tension.

You simply let go.

Empower the way you stand in this situation and consciously decide how you want to deal with it.

Find the emotional attitude, the inner posture you can take which does not hurt.

Find out how you can stand in it, so that you don’t feel inner tension.

Think of yourself first.

This is about you!

This is about finding you inner balance.

How can you stand in this, so that you don’t feel tension?

Find the right “mind posture”.