Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Is it okay for her to have a male friend? - ARTICLE

The answer is yes!

The number one reason for break ups is too much control within the relationship.

If your relationship becomes too constricting or limiting, sooner or later you either explode or become very unhappy and drained.

A relationship is a place where you encourage mutual freedom.

The real base of your relationship is not mutual control; it is mutual trust and love.

When you commit yourself to your partner, you usually decide to be sexually exclusive.

This is the real boundary.

Now, boundaries are designed consciously.

You talk about it and find out a good balance which works for both of you.

For instance, some couples consciously decide to have an open relationship because they feel they need a greater level of freedom within what they share.

What is important is to design these boundaries together.

Dialogue! Diplomacy!

These are the best ways to design healthy relationship boundaries.

When you are obsessively jealous, your relationship boundaries become immensely constricting.

I encourage you to relax about her male friends and realize this simple fact:

It is still with you she decides to be.

It is with you she shares her life.

It is with you she is intimate.

So, it’s simple!

Drop it and trust her!

This is a gift of freedom you give to each other.

Dare to empower her with your trust.

Trying to control her social life is a no-win situation.

It is a dead end which leads to increased fights and break up.

Increase the level of freedom within your relationship to make sure that your partnership breathes and does not get asphyxiated.

Allow other men to validate her.

What this tells to your relationship is that she is a great woman.

It tells that she has the choice but it is with you she decides to be.

This is the best way to perceive her interactions with other men.