Wednesday, January 27, 2010

If she cheated before - ARTICLE

This is one of the situations where jealousy is justified.

If she cheated before and you can’t trust her anymore, find out where she stands with that.

You respond with jealousy which is simply lack of trust.

You realize you can’t invest yourself in the relationship the way you would like to.

Obviously, cheating kills mutual trust.

It is different if she comes back and realizes she made a huge mistake, asks for forgiveness, etc.

If you partner cheated but honestly asks for forgiveness, there are some good chances you could get back together and have a healthy relationship in the future.

This “adventure” can even empower your relationship and establish a new level of mutual trust and complicity.

However, if you realize that she is not 100% committed to you and that cheating could happen again, you are trying to protect a very unstable territory.

It takes two strong pillars to preserve the relationship’s space.

You can’t do that alone.

She is not 100% committed? Fine, you can’t force her.

The solution?

Step back as well.

Flirt with other women.

If she reacts, ask her if she is 100% committed to you and if she could be running away with another man any time soon.

Can you see the dynamics?

Don’t give your life to someone who does not give it back to you.

If she is uncommitted and you are committed, it drains you.

It creates an emotional tension in your system. It is like a need or desire you can’t fulfill.

You wait for her to take steps.

The solution?

Step back as well and recover part of what you invested in her.

Take your freedom back.

You need extra power and determination to do this, but it will definitely stop you from being jealous.

Your jealousy is related with the fact you have too high expectations.

She wants to keep her freedom?

Fine… Do the same.