Thursday, January 28, 2010

How to have a constructive chat on relationship boundaries with her - TIP

One of the best ways to strengthen you couple is to find out EXACTLY what is ok and what is not in your relationship.

You will often uncover that you both pretty much want the same.

Here are some ideas to start a conversation on boundaries:
  • "How physical do you think it is ok for us to be with other people?..."
  • "Would it bother you if I was flirty with another girl in your presence?"
  • "What exactly would bother you?"
  • "Do you feel that the same boundary must apply to both of us or just one of us?"
  • Etc.
This is a constructive conversation because there is no finger pointing or accusation.

You are not telling her what to do

You ask for feed back.

You ask open ended questions.

You ask her to share.

This is why it gives her space to express what she feels.

The result? You design boundaries TOGETHER!

Because she designed the solution together with you, she embraces that choice rather than resenting it!