Thursday, June 11, 2009

She systematically chooses for her kids - ARTICLE

If you are dating a single mother, this will happen and it is VERY natural!

Her kids are her life.

They will always come first!

They need her protection and love.

So, simply prepared!

If you date a single mother you will always come second after her kids.

Does this mean that such relationship can't work?

Of course not?

You still have lots of potential space and possibilities to connect deeply in a VERY fulfilling relationship.

Let's put it this way:

If you have your own business for instance and this venture needs your attention, you won't simply drop everything because she wants you to, right?

This is your life!

Her kids are hers and they were there before you met her.

You don't need to compete with them for attention.

I agree though... If all you get from her is a 2 hours date once a month, it might not be enough.

This is always a topic you can bring up carefully and let her know that if she had more time you would be happy to take her trekking or do more fun things together.

However, you must never pressure her!

If what you say sounds like demands, she will feel threatened and use her power to defend her family.

You can ask open ended questions like:

"How do you feel we could handle that?"
"How do you feel about this?"
"Spending more time together? Is this a wish you have or are you satisfied with what we share now?"

These open ended questions are a great way to open a conversation because they are not finger pointing.

There is no accusation. No one is being blamed.

We are simply exploring possibilities together.

Can you see how it works?

Take care and enjoy!