Wednesday, May 16, 2007

How datable is she?

Some girls simply don't want to be committed!

They like their freedom and won't make concessions on that, which is fine!

If you show up in their lives and try to make them be exclusive, you crash!

Your two plans don't match!

She has her agenda!

You have yours!

They don't match!

When you start dating a girl, you can easily identify if she is someone who will commit or not.

You will see warning signs:
  • She does not return your calls!
  • She lies!
  • Talks a lot about exes and sexual adventures.
  • She gets loads of male attention when you take her out and forgets about you.
  • She is young and openly says she wants to explore her sexuality.
  • She dresses very sexy and is obviously on a hunt!
  • Etc.

When guys see these signs, they usually reject or deny them.

They think:

"She is confusing!"

"She gives me mixed signals!"

"I don't fully get her!"

When in fact, she is crystal clear!

She is saying exactly what she wants and confirms this with her actions and attitudes.

The fact that she goes out with you a couple of times does not mean that she wants to commit!

You might assume this but it is not her intention at all!

Maybe she even wants to fool herself and believe it is exclusively with you she wants to be while dating other guys at the same time!

She might say things like:

"We are so good together!"

"I love you!"

"I am so glad we met!

She might even get jealous and make a scene over you calling your ex!

This is the moment you need to be really smart as a guy!

Very often these few signs I just described don't mean commitment!

They mean: there is something nice going on!

Your next step is to look at her actions! They speak louder than words!

Does this mean you can't date her? Of course you can!

You can date her but in a light and non committed way.

We are now talking about a very specific type of girl who enjoys her freedom and likes it that way.

She is not asking for change!

My guess is that probably 1/5 of the girls you can meet fit in that category.

This is what you need to recognize in the early stages.

Why?

Because her behaviors can quickly trigger a flow of unwanted jealousy in you.

You feel jealous because you believe she is committed when in fact she is not!

This can confuse you and drive you into an emotional roller coaster.

That's the last thing you want.

Remember that if she is not committed to you, your jealousy is unjustified.

You can play with that emotion of course but there is no "territory" to defend.

Expressing jealousy and possessiveness will most likely mess up your connection and drive her away.

If she likes her freedom, she has probably been confronted before with guys who tried to control her. She often has strategies ready to get rid of them, believe me!

The only way to stick around is to respect her choices. If you don't, you are asking for trouble, guaranteed!

Get this e-book and MP3 audios to really get it right with jealousy dynamics:

http://vitalcoaching.com/malejealousy.htm

To your power!

vitalcoach